VESTA5: Esther Walker, Journalist
Esther Walker is a journalist, who writes for publications such as The Times and The Daily Telegraph, and is the author of two books, The Bad Cook and The Bad Mother. She also has a blog, On The Spike.
Esther is married to The Times restaurant critic Giles Coren, with whom she has two children.
1) What is your desert island luxury item?
My desert island luxury item is a 40 foot motor yacht to get me the fuck out of there. No, for real I would love to be stranded on a desert island. I am a crap swimmer and basically terrified of the sea, but I love beaches, I don't know why. Maybe they speak to the essential blankness of my soul. Sorry that wasn't the question. Luxury item - a knife I guess to kill things with and eat them. Ibuprofen. Scissors? Any of those. Tampax.
2) If you won £1000, what would you spend it on?
£1000 would be eaten up in about 5 seconds by the absurd outgoing expenditure of my household. I mean we only have 2 kids but we spend about a million pounds a week just in Waitrose. I certainly wouldn't spend it on a designer handbag, they are such crocks of shit, always really stiff with zips that like BITE your hand off when you try to get something out. And then you just feel like a total dick in London walking past some homeless person with this fucking bag. And then someone steals it anyway. So I wouldn't get a bag. Honestly I would probably fritter it away on crap for my kids.
3) What is your favourite drink?
It's constantly changing but right now it's 200ml of really cold white wine, I don't really care what kind as long as it's COOLLLLDDD and there's an unlimited supply. Back when I was drinking far too much I was drinking WHISKEY like an old man, literally. I would mask this actually pretty blatant alcoholism by drinking Manhattans (rather than just whiskey straight out of the bottle) which is 2 parts Makers Mark, 1 part Martini Rosso and Angostura bitters and you shake it with ice.
And cherries, you have 2 cocktail cherries with it. I was drinking so much that I once drank 2 Manhattans MID-MIGRAINE. Now that is a drinking problem my friends. But like I said I'm fine now.
No hang on what the hell am I on about?? My favourite drink is obviously tea. BAE. Has to be PG Tips or I will claw your eyes out.
4) If you could own any one piece of artwork, which would it be?
Something really, really, really expensive that I could later sell in order to spend the money on crap for my kids or to buy passage off that island from a passing ship.
5) Which two celebrities would play you and your love interest in a film?
I would be played by Eddie Murphy circa Beverley Hills Cop and my husband by Kathy Burke. You might laugh but honestly if those two were married they would have the EXACT dynamic that we have.